Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
