So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
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I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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