you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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