I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
