My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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