This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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