Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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