Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
