How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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