No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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