i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We named our party play list daddy issues
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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