Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize