after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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