I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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