i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
