the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
