just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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