okay pat passed out under dana's car
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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