I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My vagina is very pro this idea
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
