The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
