She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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