they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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