I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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