i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I don't think brook has ever known best
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
