So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
