I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
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They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
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That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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