Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
