So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
