We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
