Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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