hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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