She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
