yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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