if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
