listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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