I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
nutella sex= disaster
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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