Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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