This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize