Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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