Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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