i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
foreskin is a definite game changer
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
