ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
