This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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