The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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