Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
