Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
you had me at cake vodka
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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