She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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