Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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