dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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