I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
