all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
