areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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