An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
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had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
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there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I don't deserve a penis
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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