I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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