RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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