apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
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puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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