The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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