i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
