For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
