wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
